I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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