Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
