I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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