I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
