I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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