we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
