Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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