so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
