Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I didn't notice because vodka
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
