Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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