Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh god it's open bar.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
