tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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