did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
