Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
