hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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