I hate your face
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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