just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
