We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
