so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
