Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
