im gay
i know
yea but for you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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