have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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