I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
