I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
