Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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