Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
