When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
