I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
