I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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