I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
