btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
