I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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