"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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