well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
