You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
