im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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