weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
