Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Randomize
