I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
