I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
