I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
The ass gains better be worth it
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