Me too!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
