and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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