oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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