I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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