Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize