Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
