I wish life had little blips of pornography
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
