Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
