I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I need moral support for this bender
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
