I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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