Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
whose parrot is this?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize