who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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