Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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