please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
