She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
