My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize