I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize