I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
