so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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