I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
