I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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