We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
