lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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