We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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